Ready or Not: We’re Married - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - August 10

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Ready or Not: We’re Married
By Lynette Kittle

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor.” - Ecclesiastes 4:9

Whether we feel ready or not for marriage, once we marry, we’re in the thick of it, working through the common and unique situations every marriage faces.

So what does it take to get started? Depending on individual personalities, it can take time, with some couples making it look joyful and easy, while others make it look stressful and impossible.

Yet, whether seemingly easier or more challenging, in both situations, God is at work in a couple’s lives, fine-tuning and refining us like Proverbs 27:17 assures, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

How to Start Out In Marriage

Still, it takes both spouses’ cooperation to sharpen one another. The following are five ways God directs couples to start out in marriage. 

1. Grow up. As God directs in Genesis 2:24, there needs to be a leaving behind of childish behavior to grow together as a couple, with two becoming one. “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”

It’s not just about leaving our childhood homes, but about leaving immature ways behind, where instead of living for ourselves, we learn to live with and for each other, serving, and loving one another.

2. Stick together. As well, becoming one flesh is essential, of yielding their bodies to one another, as a protection God has provided within marriage to meet the physical needs of one another, as 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 explains:

“But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.  The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.  Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

Too many couples are unwilling to give up their authority over their own bodies, but rather do what they want, leaving the other spouse feeling alone and unloved, leading to needs being unmet and temptations having openings to lead husbands and wives into immoral relationships outside of marriage.

3. Love much. Great responsibility lies in the husband’s court. As God has designed, they are to take the lead in the marriage relationship. As Colossians 3:19 advises, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”

Sadly, love seems to be confusing to many today, having so many varying meanings, but the definition that counts, is the one God, who is love, gives it, found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

4. Show respect. Respect is so important in every relationship and especially in marriage. “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers” (1 Peter 3:7).

Respecting each other is vital for both husbands and wives, as Ephesians 5:33 explains, “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

5. Be submissive. Ephesians 5:21 is where we can start, as God calls us to, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

When we do, we are really submitting to God, trusting Him that as we do, He will work in our relationship and marriage.

Dear heavenly Father, lead us as a couple to become one, to leave childish behaviors behind, to stick together, love and respect each other, and be submissive, as You have told us to do. Help us to yield to you so that You may draw us together as a couple. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Photo Credit: ©Pexels/Deesha Chandra

Lynette Kittle is married with four daughters. She enjoys writing about faith, marriage, parenting, relationships, and life. Her writing has been published by Focus on the Family, Decision, Today’s Christian Woman, kirkcameron.com, Ungrind.org, StartMarriageRight.com, and more. She has a M.A. in Communication from Regent University and serves as associate producer for Soul Check TV.

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