The Gift of Mercy

Dr. Charles Stanley: It is God's great mercy. Seeing a person in need, seeing a person and knowing the person here who has the gift of mercy, what does he do? In his loving kindness, he draws them together. The person with the gift of mercy will know it, see it, sense it, feel it, and hurt with that person. And what I want you to notice is this: while the person with the gift of mercy does not live by their particular emotions, they are extremely sensitive to other people's emotions. That's the way God has wired the person with the gift of mercy.
Guest (Male): When you experience disappointment, aren't you grateful for compassionate people who point you to the love of Christ? Today on In Touch, the teaching ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley will wrap up our series with help understanding what motivates these caring people to visit the sick, pray with the grieving, and reach out to people in pain. Stay with us now to learn about the vital role of the gift of mercy.
Dr. Charles Stanley: God has equipped us to relate to one another in such a fashion that not only can our needs be met, but also that the kingdom purposes, God's plan for the church and for the body of Christ and for the world, can be met. It's in this whole perspective of gifts and talents and skills that he's given us that you and I look at ourselves, look at other relationships and ask the question: how can I use the spiritual gift that God has given me in a way that can accomplish God's purpose and plan for my life and at the same time learn how to relate to each other? When we think in terms of spiritual gifts, you can't just relegate this to church. This affects every single aspect of your life. We're going to talk about just one of those, this last one of these gifts, and they're all listed in Romans chapter 12, verses 6 through 8. You might want to turn there if you've never noticed these gifts. If you notice what he says beginning in verse 6: "Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly." He created us all differently. I'm to exercise that spiritual gift that God has given me. Listen: "If it's prophecy, according to our faith; if service, in his serving; if it's teaching, in his teaching; he who exhorts, in his exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; and he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness." Let me say something very carefully here. While we speak in terms of motivational gifts, we're talking about that inner drive, that underlying motivation that motivates us to do what we do, the way we do it, think the way we think, and act the way we act because we're not all the same. In all the different personalities and in all the different spiritual gifts that God has given, he's given you a particular underlying motivational gift that suits you perfectly for your personality and the purpose for which God created you. Well, what about mercy? Let's look at this first characteristic of mercy and that is the person who has the gift of mercy has the ability to feel an atmosphere of joy or distress in the life of an individual or in a group. What I want you to notice is this: while the person with the gift of mercy does not live by their particular emotions, they are extremely sensitive to other people's emotions. That's the way God has wired the person with the gift of mercy. Sometimes they will say things we'll think, "That must be your imagination, I don't see any of that." Remember this: the gift of mercy can feel on a level that more than likely most of us cannot feel. Sometimes we don't understand why they think the way they think, why they are so merciful and so loving and so caring and willing to go to the 10th and the 15th and the 20th mile to help somebody. That's the way God wired the person with the gift of mercy. They just feel it, and because they feel it, they're going to respond accordingly. Then of course, there's the whole desire to remove hurts and bring healing to other people rather than to look for the benefits of that hurt. For example, consider a person who is going through some difficult situation. Let's say that they've gotten themselves in some kind of a problem because of their own disobedience. The person with the gift of mercy is not concerned about that. The person with the gift of mercy is concerned about what? Getting rid of their hurts, helping them to get through this, and relieving them. You have to be careful with the gift of mercy that you don't get in the way of what God's trying to do in somebody's life. Someone else would say, "We should all be merciful and we should all be understanding and we should all try to help people who are hurting." Correct. But if you get in God's way, the person that God's working on, that delays what God's doing in their life and now he's having to work on you and the other person. Stay out of the way of what God's doing. A person with the gift of mercy who's walking in the spirit can discern that this is something God is doing and they need to back off and let him do it. "Then I'll be there to catch them when they fall, I'll be there to wipe away the tears, I'll be there to encourage them and hold them up when the bottom drops out and God's through sifting and sanding and cutting away and working in their life." Then of course, there's the greater concern for mental distress than for physical. A person, for example, who has the gift of mercy understands and can have mercy and be tender and loving and considerate for people who have physical pain. But if you give them a choice, or if they see two situations, they're going to be drawn to the person who has deep emotional problems. Because you see, they have a depth of feeling that probably the rest of us don't have. They're able to vicariously—and vicariously means that they're able to get into and get under the pain and sense, to identify themselves with the other person's hurt. The reason is oftentimes God will allow difficulty and hardship and pain and suffering to be experienced by those who have the gift of mercy so that they can genuinely and truly vicariously feel what the other person's feeling. The person with the gift of mercy is going to be drawn to that person who has physical, yes, but primarily mental and spiritual, emotional problems in their life. Somehow they are there to help them. You will be surprised at the people that are drawn together, people who have an attraction to each other when the only reason you can possibly think of is that one's hurting and the one's the helper. Mercy is going to be there. Then of course, there's this whole issue of sensitivity to words and actions which will hurt other people. The gift of mercy is the cheerfulness part and the joy part of the body of Christ. God's placed those mercy people there to sort of offset oftentimes our insensitivity or a sense of criticism or coming on maybe too harsh. The gift of mercy will step up and speak up. I've had it happen to me. Maybe I was criticizing something that I knew absolutely was wrong and somebody else would speak something, and I knew the moment I felt so convicted, I thought, "That's mercy." They know exactly what I'm saying is the truth, they know exactly the facts as good as I do, and here they are wanting to just sort of say everything is really not all that bad and after all nobody is perfect. I'm sitting over here because that doesn't happen to be my spiritual gift. I can be merciful, but when I see something that's deadly wrong, absolute rebellion toward God and deliberate and willful, I'm not going to just let it go. Mercy is going to reach out no matter what. What does it do? It balances all the rest of us. Sometimes we just need to keep our mouths shut and not say anything unless it's a wise, profitable, fruitful thing to do because you don't want to go around criticizing people. Sometimes they don't even know why they've done the things that they've done. Then of course, there's the ability to sense genuine love and a greater vulnerability to deeper and more frequent hurts from the lack of love. A person who has that gift of mercy, because they are loving and because that's a part of their whole makeup, not only can they sense genuine love, but along with that comes a greater sense of vulnerability to deeper and more frequent hurts from the lack of love. The person with the gift of mercy makes themselves vulnerable and oftentimes gets hurt. But you know what? The person with the gift of mercy when they're walking in the spirit is willing to get hurt, willing to be vulnerable, and willing to be rejected by the person that they try to help. But sometimes when that hurt goes on and on and on, even they can only handle so much and they pull down the shade, build up the wall, and encase themselves. They wonder why and what it is they're missing in life. What they're missing in life is one of those blessings that God has intended for all of us. When I think of people who live under the same roof, oftentimes one of them is a prisoner. You wouldn't see that openly physically. They can drive together, party together, do this together, whatever it might be, but emotionally one is a prisoner. They can't love. They refuse. They've been hurt and now they're in this relationship and they just can't let go and be vulnerable to love once again. It is very important we learn how to love, and very important we learn how to be the kind of person that God wants us to be. Then of course, there's the whole issue of measuring acceptance by physical closeness and quality time together. For example, with any other gift you can give that person a material gift or recognition, and that is fine. But for the person with the gift of mercy, you can give them all the gifts that you can buy. There's no amount of money, no amount of recognition, none of that. You know what they want? They want closeness. They want you to be there. Closeness, physical closeness and quality time together. If a person is married to a mercy, mark it down: you can't do enough of anything else to match closeness, intimacy, and time. It's interesting how parents will say, "I give my kids everything in the world they could possibly think of. What else do they need?" Closeness and time. The truth is all of us do. If you have someone in your life whom you love, if you genuinely love them, you want them there and you want to spend time with them. If a person's married to someone and either one of them or both of them don't really have any real zeal about being together, and he goes one way and she goes the other, and they don't spend any time together, the person with the gift of mercy is devastated by a relationship that has no closeness or genuine intimacy. Intimacy says, "I want to hear what you have to say, I'm interested in what interests you, I care about you, how can I help you, how can I encourage you today? What is it that you need from me? Please forgive me for what I said, that was an oversight on my part." In other words, intimacy deals with every single aspect of our thinking. The need to measure acceptance by physical closeness and quality time together is very important in the life of mercy. That principle alone, the person with the gift of mercy can handle very well unless that is not there. Here is what they do. Watch this carefully. When the person who has the gift of mercy is married to somebody like this, since they don't get closeness and they don't get this sense of intimacy and this time, they make a big mistake. They'll start looking around to see what else is out there that may be able to meet some kind of need in their life. They get so hungry for relationship and intimacy. Here's the tragedy: oftentimes they step way down from God's plan and purpose for their life trying to satisfy something that is not satisfied. Then there's the tendency to avoid firmness. A person with the gift of mercy has a tendency to avoid firmness unless they see how it will benefit the other person. We talked about how that person can get in God's way. Oftentimes consider a parent. They know their son or their daughter is being disobedient and somehow because of their gift of mercy, they don't want to hurt their feelings or drive them away. In their genuine loving care for their child, they are oftentimes not firm enough in being able to say, "No, you can't," or "You must not," or "You must do this." They have a tendency sometimes not to be as firm as they should be. This does not mean that all mercies lack firmness. But it means, for example, when they're in the flesh they can lack firmness or if they're not mature enough in their own relationship to God to realize that being rejected by your kids is not the worst thing in the world. Being rejected by somebody is not the worst thing in the world when you have done the right thing, said the right thing, led them in the right way, and given them strong instruction. To be rejected by them is not the worst thing in the world. Even worse than that is to fail to instruct them properly, to fail to be firm, and to fail to be supportive in the expression of that firmness. A person who has the gift of mercy can oftentimes find themselves in a position of not being as firm as they ought to be. Or the husband will say to the wife, "Well, you do it," because he doesn't want to be rejected. The same thing is true in a job. If you have a job and you have people working for you and you are not firm about some things, the whole organization falls apart because somebody is not taking a strong stand to say, "This is the goal, these are the goals, this is how we operate, and these are the rules we go by so that everybody can accomplish and achieve what we've set out to achieve." You have to be firm. Sometimes that's very difficult for the person who has the gift of mercy. It's just real tough for a person with the gift of mercy to say, "No, you're not." But there come times when all of us have to say that. Then of course, there's the whole issue of closing our spirit to those who are insincere and insensitive. Because they are loving and caring and genuinely want to help, when they see insincerity on a person's life and see that they're insensitive, they close their spirit. For example, the prophet, the teacher, and the administrator can walk right by and if they're in the flesh, they can be very insensitive or say things that are insensitive. The person with the gift of mercy can't handle that. They close their spirit to a person who is insensitive and insincere because loyalty, devotion, caring, and loving is the very opposite of what they feel and what they think. None of us like someone else to be insensitive to us. We don't like someone being insincere, not telling the truth, not being faithful, not being loyal, and not being devoted. When the person with the gift of mercy sees that, they close their spirit because they cannot handle that. I simply want to encourage you: don't lay these notes down somewhere. You're going to meet someone who has this gift, or it may be that you have this gift. Now you understand why you act and feel the way you do, or now you understand why your spouse, your friend, or the person you work with reacts to you the way they do. Once you understand and you apply these principles, you understand yourself better and you understand your relationship to God better. That's the way he wired you, that's the way you are, and you understand the people you live with, that you work with, and that you play with better. That makes all relationships better when you understand and you're willing to apply this to your life. Now, you may be saying, "I'm not even a Christian, so how does that relate to me?" Until you receive Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, nothing's going to work. It may work for you money-wise, or with prestige and prominence and all the rest, but you will not have contentment or joy. Moments of happiness, maybe yes, but no genuine contentment, no real peace, no real joy, and no real sense of achievement and accomplishment that God has helped you in. It is sort of you against the world. It is either all of me or all of God. When you trust the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior, and your sin debt is paid in full, you're forgiven of your sin by simply asking him to forgive you of your sin based on what he did at the cross. Recognizing that he has the right to your life to guide you and direct you all the days of your life, you surrender your life to him. The Spirit of God comes into your life and grants to you a spiritual gift, and everything about your life begins to change. Now you are equipped to live life to the fullest, to the best, in the greatest sense of satisfaction and fulfillment all the days of your life. It is yours for the asking and the believing if you'll trust the Lord Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins and trust the Holy Spirit to do his work in your life.
Guest (Male): Thanks for listening to In Touch, the teaching ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley. Love, compassion, and kindness ought to be characteristic of every believer, but there are some Christians with an extra measure of tenderness. If mercy is your gift, embrace it and use it to God's glory. If you're not sure of your spiritual gift, you can visit intouch.org for resources that will help you learn how you have been uniquely equipped by God to serve the body of Christ. To go back over this final message in our series, look for the link to Today on Radio. Connect to our online store to order a copy of Dr. Stanley's complete message, "The Gift of Mercy," or order his teaching set, "Living in the Power of the Holy Spirit." Again, that's intouch.org. You can also call or text 1-800-INTOUCH. If you prefer to write, our address is In Touch, Post Office Box 7900, Atlanta, Georgia 30357. Do you have a hobby that when you share it with others, your joy is more complete? A spiritual application is coming up in today's moment with Charles Stanley. In Touch Plus is streaming on Local Now featuring all the best of Dr. Charles Stanley.
Dr. Charles Stanley: It's important to have strong convictions based on the Word of God. He's working out things that you and I would never know about in our future.
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Dr. Charles Stanley: There is an inexplicable joy that comes from understanding scripture and learning how to apply it in our own life.
Guest (Male): The Charles F. Stanley Life Principles Bible includes 30 foundational truths that Dr. Stanley has learned from over 60 years of ministry. It's available in the New King James Version, New International Version, the King James Version, and New American Standard Bible version. To order, call 1-800-INTOUCH or go to intouch.org/store. You're listening to In Touch. God-focused, self-focused, others-focused. One of these doesn't belong. With a reminder for believers, here's a moment with Charles Stanley.
Dr. Charles Stanley: I was up in Alaska photographing with two of my friends. I loved every minute of it, and all the wonderful sights we saw and all the things we photographed, from the grizzly bears to whales, to beavers, to otters, and all the beautiful scenery. It would only have been partially fun without them there. There's something about friendship, closeness, intimacy, being interested in the same thing and talking about the same thing, mutual interest in each other, supporting of each other and helping each other and learning from one another. Here's the problem: in every circumstance of life, it's all about me or it's all about God. That's the way it is. If I'm wrapped up in myself and only what pleases me and helps me and encourages me and strengthens me, if it's all about me, then we miss out on what life's all about. If it's all about God, then I'm going to be interested in you. I'm going to be interested in him and her and you and this and that. If a person's wrapped up in themselves and it's all about me, I'm not going to love someone else, I'm not going to learn from someone else, and I'm not going to teach someone else.
Guest (Male): You can learn more about how to focus on God and his purposes. Visit intouch.org. If this program challenged you to grow up in your faith, tell us about what you learned. On the next edition of In Touch: if you've ever struggled with repeated sin, then be back again as Dr. Stanley's message answers the question, "Lord, why can't I change?" That's when we return on In Touch, the teaching ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley. This program is a presentation of In Touch Ministries, Atlanta, Georgia, and remains on this station through the grace of God and your faithful prayers and gifts.